By: Adwoa Osei, MD, FAAP
Healthy mental and emotional development is vital for a healthy childhood. Today, children and teens are dealing with sources of stress that most parents never imagined.
Over the past few years, they've had to adjust to ever-changing routines and expectations at home, at school and in their in-person and
online interactions. It has become even more important for parents and caregivers to be aware of their children's mental and emotional needs and know how to support them.
Healthy mental & emotional development in kids
Parents and caregivers have powerful tools that can equip children and teens with skills that help them thrive during difficult times. Go
here to learn about 4 key building blocks of healthy mental and emotional development in children, along with tips to promote positive childhood experiences.
Events that can impact your child's well-being
All children face life changes, but the impacts may vary in each child. The support and buffering systems provided by parents, caregivers and the community can make a big difference.
Here are some examples of
stressful experiences or events, sometimes called adverse childhood experiences or ACEs, that may impact a child:
Effects of adverse experiences on your child or teen can include:
Changes in sleep pattern, appetite, social activity and personality (easily becomes tearful, angry, or frustrated)
Headaches, tummy aches or feeling tired
Self-isolation
Negative self-talk
New struggles with chores and schoolwork
How to support your child through tough times
During difficult emotional times, you can show support in key ways. This includes creating a space for your child to talk with you as you
listen, and taking your child's words and feelings seriously. Providing a safe, stable and nurturing environment for your child and teen in an environment that is predictable and loving allows them to better respond to the stress they may experience.
Sometimes you and your child or teen may need additional support to handle life's challenges. A trained professional can work with you and your child or teen to develop a plan to improve your child's mental and emotional health.
Where to find more supportYour child's doctor
One of the best places to start is with your child's pediatrician. They are trained to take care of every aspect of the health of your child. This includes their emotional and mental health, which is connected to their physical well-being.
Your child's pediatrician can help you identify areas of concern that need additional support early on, and what type of mental health provider is best based on the child's symptoms and behaviors. They can work with you to identify a plan for supporting your child's mental and emotional health needs and provide a list of mental health professionals in your current insurance network.
Your child's school
Schools have a wealth of resources available to support social-emotional learning. The classroom teacher may reach out to you when they notice changes in your child's attention, focus or response to other students.
Schools have support personnel in place, such as school social workers, therapists and counselors. These licensed professionals can work with your child's pediatrician to develop a school support plan.
Counselors may also be able to provide referrals to free or reduced-cost local providers. In some cases, they may provide services such as grief support to your child during the school day. Some schools sponsor the Rainbows for All Children program that provides grief support for children. For more information, visit the
Rainbows for All Children program online.
Friends & relatives
It's likely that many of your friends and family members have dealt with mental and emotional health issues themselves or with their own children. They may be able to recommend their own therapist or one in their therapist's network. In addition, trusted friends and relatives may work with you to provide additional support for your child to promote positive childhood experiences.
A firsthand review of a provider's style can help your decision-making process. It is helpful to have friends and family support you on the journey to improve your child's mental health.
Hospital or emergency department in urgent situations
It may take a while to find a provider and schedule an appointment.
If your child shows symptoms of severe mental and emotional distress or
suicidal thoughts, reach out to a medical professional right away. Call your local hospital, or, if necessary, take your child to the emergency department.
Insurance coverage for mental health care
If you have private insurance, you may have to use its network providers. Contact your provider to get a list of in-network therapists and to confirm your mental health coverage. Before scheduling an appointment, it is best to know in advance how many sessions are covered, what percentage of the cost is covered, and whether there is a co-payment.
If your family does not have a medical plan that covers mental health, there are many local clinics that provide referrals and free or reduced-cost mental health services. Your county health department is a valuable resource in this area.
Finding the right therapist & treatment
Give it time
Finding the right health care professional takes time. On paper, a therapist may have the right credentials and great references. What matters is how the therapist connects with your child. For a child to learn and grow, they have to feel comfortable with and be willing to talk and trust the provider. You may have to try a few therapists to find the right fit.
Treatment plans are not one size fits all. Your provider will talk with you, your child, and, possibly, the school to come to a proper diagnosis. From there, they will work with you to create a treatment plan to meet your child's needs. Listen to what the therapist suggests, ask questions, and be open to possible changes to the treatment plan.
Once treatment begins, give it time to work. If medicine is prescribed, it may take weeks or months to find the right dosage, one that provides the right impact.
Trust your instincts
Because you begin with one provider does not mean you need to stay with them. It may take time to find a provider that is a good fit for your child and their needs. Also, if you are not comfortable or sure about the diagnosis or the treatment plan, it's OK to seek a second opinion. You may want to consider changing providers if your child:
You may also want to consider seeking a different provider if your child's overall outlook doesn't seem to be improving. However, keep in mind that it may take time for the provider to build trust and a connection with your child, and that most behavioral treatments take time.
Release any stigma
Remember, many children are going through the very same issues as your child. Mental and emotional health is no different from physical health.
If your child had asthma, you wouldn't hesitate to get them an inhaler or albuterol treatments. If your child had diabetes, you would make sure they had insulin shots and a glucose meter. By meeting your child's mental and emotional needs and connecting your child with a professional therapist, you are helping them take an active role in their own treatment.
Supporting your child & yourself
While treating your child's mental health, don't forget about your own. By taking care of your mental and emotional health, you increase opportunities for your child to have positive, resilience-building experiences with you. There are parent support groups through the
National Alliance on Mental Illness, your local hospital and some faith communities. You are not alone on this journey.
More information
About Dr. Osei
 Adwoa Osei, MD, FAAP, serves on the Expert Leadership Team for the American Academy of Pediatrics Building Capacity for Pediatric Trauma Informed Care project as well as the Pediatric Mental Health Care Access grant advisory committee.
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