School breaks give children and parents a much-needed pause. But breaks can also bring stress. Routines change for your child and family, and time spent together in close settings, can cause patience to run short. With a little planning, though, a school break can be a time to relax, have fun and focus on mental health.
Steps to keep school breaks stress-free for kids of all ages
Keep a routine
When school is not in session, your child's school-day
routine might change. They might wake up at a different time, and their activities and routines might vary. While routines may be more relaxed during break, having a regular routine is important for children of all ages. Routines support
healthy mental and emotional development by providing kids a sense o f stability and connection.
Be clear about expectations & boundaries
During a school break, your child might need to spend more time with family. Older children may be asked to take on more responsibilities while parents are working. These expectations can conflict with their plans for school break. Clear and intentional
communication about expectations—and also understanding what is important to your child—will help things run more smoothly.
Support creative ways to connect with friends
When school is not in session, your child might not get to see their school friends for different reasons. Their friends live in another neighborhood or are traveling. College students are back in their hometowns. This can lead your child to feel isolated. If possible, plan ahead with your child about creative ways for them to stay connected.
Make a plan for traveling
Traveling during a school break can be an exciting time for your family, but traveling can also be stressful. Planning ahead for things like travel delays or schedule changes can help you and your child enjoy the time away, even if plans have to change. (See "Managing travel during breaks," below.)
Importance of a schedule
Young children do best with predictability and structure. Creating a schedule that is similar to their school schedule can help them get into a routine during breaks. Adolescents might need a conversation about expectations, so they stay on track with a schedule until school resumes.
Developing a school-break schedule can include the following:
Set a wake-up time and bedtime close to your child's school-day schedule.
Make sure your child has snacks and meals around the same time as when they are in school.
Encourage your child to participate in activities during the day. This can include meeting with school friends, reading or drawing, building with blocks or trying something new, like knitting.
If your family needs another caregiver while you are at work, provide the caregiver with a written schedule and list of activities.
Boundaries during breaks: conversations with middle schoolers & teens
Children at this age are becoming more independent. You can support your middle schooler or teenager by discussing
expectations and boundaries. This can help you build trust with your child. What this looks like can vary depending on your family's needs.
Begin by talking with your child about what boundaries are and why they are important. Provide an example of one of your boundaries and explain why it's important to you. This will help your child begin to understand how your priorities compare to their own. For example, you might prioritize your child's safety while your child is focused on their independence.
What to talk about: conversation starters
The following list can help you start to have these conversations. You can start with any of these topics.
Having guests over:Who can come over, how long they can stay and how they will get to and from your home.
Personal space in the home: Expectations for respecting items or areas in a specific room, as well as family members' time in that room.
Personal time: Best times for your child to have their own personal time at home or time away with friends.
Respecting time at work: If you work at home, for example, this could mean respecting your space and time for meetings and getting work done.
Family time: Expectations for spending quality time with family and for watching younger siblings.
Autonomy and time spent outside of the house: How often your child is expected to check in, who they are going out with, where they will be, how long they will be out and how you should respect their time away from family.
Using the family car:When your child can use it, who is responsible for filling the gas tank and where your child can drive the car.
Managing travel during breaks
Taking trips over school breaks can be exciting. But they can also cause a lot of stress and anxiety for your child and you.
If you are traveling by plane:
Discuss with your child what will happen at the airport and on the plane, from the security walkthrough to what it might feel like or sound like on the plane and a plan for if they become separated from you.
Arrive at the airport well before your scheduled flight time so you and your family have plenty of time to navigate through security and find your terminal.
Focus on your breathing to calm yourself in the moment. Take deep breaths in and out for up to one minute. You can teach your child how to do this, too.
If you are traveling by car:
Before the trip, review the directions to your final location to identify stopping places within no more than an hour between each other for food, bathrooms and emergencies.
On the day of the trip, review the rest stop list with your child so they know they will have opportunities to take a break.
As a parent, you might find yourself carrying most of the stress and anxiety during a trip. It's important to check in with yourself, practice your own self-care and take breaks when you can.
If you have a child who requires more attention to their physical, emotional, or behavioral health needs, talk with their doctor or provider before your trip about how best to support their needs. Many airlines, parks, and other organizations provide accommodations to travelers with special needs.
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