By: Prachi Shah, MD, FAAP
We all feel strong emotions sometimes. When a small child is having a "big feelings" moment, it can be hard to know how to react. But there are some simple parenting strategies that can help children learn to navigate big feelings in a healthy way.
These strategies can help children feel safe and secure in the moment, and as they grow. They can remind them that you, as their parent or caregiver, are there to help them manage feelings that feel too much for them.
3 parenting strategies to try
1. Emotion coaching
Emotion coaching can be incredibly simple and effective. It starts with noticing your child's feelings. Then, you can help name those emotions and acknowledge how they feel. Finally, you can address your child's needs.
For example, you might say, "I see you're feeling upset right now. It seems like you're angry because we have to leave the playground, and you were having such a good time. It is so hard when the fun has to stop."
This approach helps your child feel understood and supported. This makes it easier for them to manage their emotions.
2. Sportscasting
"Sportscasting" is a powerful and handy tool to add to your parenting toolkit. It involves simply describing your child's behavior out loud, using a positive tone and letting them hear your observations.
For example, you might say something like, "I see you're playing so creatively with your blocks!"
You help your child feel seen and valued. This allows your child to experience your attention (even when they are not trying to get it!). It can bring about feelings of joy and delight, which strengthens your connection with them.
3. Sunshine time
Play is a crucial part of your child's healthy development. Incorporating "sunshine time" into your routine can make a big difference.
Set aside 10-15 minutes, two to three times a week. During this time, dedicate your full attention to playing with your child. You can choose to call this time "Sarah's Time" or whatever your child's name is, to make it a special and personalized moment.
Let your child choose the activity and focus only on play. This is a time for no phone. Just focus on toys that promote shared play and creativity! You can use sportscasting to describe what they're doing.
Like sportscasting, sunshine time enhances your child's sense of being seen and valued. Set a timer to keep this playtime structured yet flexible. This helps ensure a fun and meaningful connection.
Falling in love with parenting: small moments lead to big connections
Just like learning to read or tying our shoes, we don't all learn how to do things the same way. Be flexible, creative and willing to try new strategies. This will help you connect with the children in your life and nurture relational health. In doing this, you help them become resilient and better able to weather their feelings— no matter the size.
Mental and emotional health are crucial parts of our overall well-being. So, consider adding these three strategies to your caregiving toolkit to support your child' overall healthy development.
More information
About Dr. Shah
 Prachi Shah, MD, FAAP, is a Professor of Pediatrics and Psychiatry at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, where her efforts focus on early child behavior and development. Dr. Shah has been trained in Developmental-Behavioral Pediatrics and Infant Psychiatry, with expertise in infant mental health and trauma-informed care. Dr. Shah is the Associate Program Director of a HRSA-funded Developmental-Behavioral Fellowship where she teaches pediatric and psychiatry trainees about child behavior and development, trauma-informed care and relational health promotion, especially in marginalized populations.
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