Crying serves several useful purposes for your baby. It allows them to call for help when they're hungry or uncomfortable. It shuts out sights, sounds, and other sensations too intense to suit them. And it helps them release tension.
You may feel like your baby's crying reflects on your parenting. But, remember that they not crying because you are a bad parent or because they don't like you! All babies cry, often without any apparent cause. Newborns routinely cry 1 to 4 hours a day. It's part of adjusting to this strange new life outside the womb.
Your baby's fussy times & crying patterns
You may notice your baby has fussy periods, even when they're not hungry, uncomfortable or tired. At times it may seem like nothing can console them. Right after these spells, they may seem more alert than before, and then may sleep more deeply than usual. This kind of fussy crying seems to help babies get rid of excess energy to allow for a more contented state.
As you get to know your infant's crying patterns, you may feel as if you can identify specific needs by the way they cry. Are they hungry? Angry? Distressed or in pain? Sleepy? Each baby will use their voice differently.
Different types of cries
Sometimes different types of cries overlap. Newborns generally wake up hungry and crying for food. If you're not quick to respond, your baby's hunger cry may turn to a wail of rage. You'll hear the difference. As your baby matures, their cries will become stronger, louder and more insistent. They'll also begin to vary more, as if to convey different needs and desires.
The best way to handle crying is to respond promptly during their first few months. You cannot spoil a young baby with attention, and if you answer their calls for help, they'll cry less overall.
Strategies to try when your baby cries
When responding to your child's cries, try to meet their most pressing need first. If they're cold and hungry and their diaper is wet, warm them up, change their diaper and then feed them. If there's a shrieking or panicked quality to the cry, consider if a piece of clothing or something else is making them uncomfortable. Perhaps a strand of hair is caught around a finger or toe.
If your baby is warm, dry and well fed but the crying won't stop:
Try the following consoling techniques to find the ones that work best for your baby:
Rocking, either in a rocking chair or in your arms as you sway from side to side
Gently stroking their head or patting their back or chest
Safe swaddling (wrapping them snugly in a receiving blanket)
Singing or talking
Playing soft music
Walking them in your arms, a stroller or a carriage
Rhythmic soft noise and vibration
Burping them to relieve any trapped gas bubbles
Warm baths (most babies like this, but not all)
Sometimes, if all else fails and your baby doesn't seem to be ill, the best approach is simply to leave the baby alone in a safe location such as a crib. Many babies cannot fall asleep without crying and will fall asleep quicker if left to cry. The crying shouldn't last long if the child is truly tired.
Is it colic?
If the crying does not stop, but gets more intense and continues throughout the day or night, it may be caused by
colic. Unfortunately, there is no definite explanation for why this happens. Most often, colic means simply that the child is unusually sensitive to stimulation or can't yet
console themselves or regulate their nervous system. As your baby matures, this inability to self-console—marked by constant crying—will improve.
Do gas drops work?
Some parents try "gas drops" (simethicone) or "gripe water" (any number of ingredients), but research has never shown these products to work.
You can look into more non-medication options such as reevaluating your diet, slow feeding and ensuring appropriate burping to help. If bottle-feeding, try a slower-flow nipple and/or tipping the bottle to prevent milk flow for a few seconds occassionally. This may help the baby better organize their swallowing and breathing and realize when they are full.
Could your baby be sick?
If your baby is inconsolable, they may be sick. Check their temperature. If you take it rectally and it is 100.4 degrees Fahrenheit (38 degrees Celsius) or higher, they could have an infection. Contact your pediatrician.
The more relaxed you remain, the easier it will be to console your child. Even very young babies are sensitive to tension and react to it by crying. Hearing a wailing newborn can be agonizing, but letting your frustration turn to anger or panic will only intensify your infant's screams.
Take a break & ask for help
If you start to feel you can't handle the situation, set the baby down in a safe location and get help from a family member or friend. This will give you needed relief, and a new face can sometimes calm your baby.
No matter how impatient or angry you feel, do not shake or hit the baby. Shaking an infant hard can cause blindness, brain damage or even death. It's important to share this information on crying with anyone else who cares for your baby, including your spouse, partner or babysitter.
Remember
No parent can console their child every time they cry, so don't expect to be a miracle worker. Instead, take a realistic approach. Line up some help, get plenty of rest and enjoy all those wondrous moments with your child.
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