By: Jenny Radesky, MD, FAAP & Megan Moreno, MD, FAAP
Social media plays a big role in the lives of many tweens and teens. Roughly 18% of 8- to 12-year-olds and 62% of 13- 18-year-olds reported using social media sites such as Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, Discord and Reddit every day in 2021. That doesn't even include popular video platforms such as TikTok, YouTube or Twitch.
Children and teens are seeking social connection, entertainment and ideas through social platforms, so it's important to understand how their use can impact your child's mental health.
For parents who might have grown up watching television and DVDs, it's important to understand the unique design features of social media that can have positive or negative effects on children and teens.
4 social media design features & how they can affect your child
Personalization in social media
Social media personalization means that every child or teen has their own custom "feed." It includes recommendations that suit their tastes and personality, based on what the platform learns about them as they use it. Kids can follow their favorite celebrities, sports teams, creative interests, learn about new things and discover new ideas. But it also means that their feeds may be tailored with digital ads or content that aren't in their best interest. Think diet ads being sent to a teen with poor body image or conspiracy theory videos being sent to a teen who likes science fiction.
What parents can do
Talk to your child about what shows up in their social media feeds: what is inspiring or hilarious? What is creepy or annoying? Help them recognize that personalization on social media means they may be in their own "filter bubble." This can prevent them from recognizing how other people from different backgrounds experience the online world. If your child seems stressed out by social media, you can have them take a 2-week break and see how it feels. Or, change up their feed by searching out more positive and inspiring content.
Easy social connection
As soon as your child creates a social media account, it immediately wants to access their contacts to build a big network. In some ways, this can be good. It can let them easily keep in touch with family and friends, find support for specific life experiences or medical conditions and build networks that include more diverse groups of people and perspectives, for example.
On the downside, if their social media account isn't private, they can be contacted by marketers or adults they don't know. Another potential drawback is that seeing other "popular" people with a lot of followers and "likes" can make teens feel more lonely. Plus, the ease of interacting over social media also means that kids and teens are more likely to post toxic or rude comments about each other—things they wouldn't necessarily have the nerve to say in real life.
What parents can do
Your child or teens' social media settings should be set to private, so that strangers can't contact them. It's important to monitor kids' social media interactions. However, the approach will depend on your relationship with your child. One solution that has worked for many parents is to make a deal with their child that they will occasionally check their texts and social media feeds. This way, parents can help their child navigate bullying interactions, stand up for others or filter and block people who are being toxic.
Other parents may want to give their teens privacy. Either way, communication about what kids and teens experience online is key. Show them that you have an open mind about what they are experiencing online, and are there to help them.
Content creation
Anyone with a smartphone can publish their thoughts, dance moves, musical talents or video game expertise. This has allowed for diverse children and teens have a voice in a world that is dominated by adults. It also means that some kids start to "perform" online in a way that isn't authentic to their inner true self. Instead, they may start to over-focus on "likes" and positive online feedback. Research has also found that content creators sometimes post racist or sexist material that doesn't get taken down by platforms.
What parents can do
Does your child post their own material online? If possible, subscribe to their channel to get regular updates and monitor what they're posting. If you think they're getting too obsessed with their appearance or their "followers," have them take a break or find other ways they feel competent and valued. Also, help them recognize the subtle biases and inappropriate posts that may show up in their feed, so they can become more critical thinkers about what they see.
Algorithmic recommendations
Social media algorithms, sets of mathematical rules based on what users have viewed before, determine what people see on their sites. This means that your child's feed will be filled with videos or posts that the platform predicted your child might click on. Research has found that algorithms can "pigeon-hole" users into feeds dominated by self-harm, weight loss content or biased posts.
Social media posts that are the most extreme—in terms of beauty, sexiness, violence or humor, for example—tend to get the most "engagement." Because of this, they are then amplified in users' recommendation feeds. This may lead to teens seeing more unrealistic views of beauty, wealth or behavior. In turn, it may influence their self-esteem or get them to take part in dangerous internet challenges.
What parents can do
Help your kids become savvy about ridiculous beauty standards, extreme stunts, challenges or over-the-top social media posts that may appear in their feed. Also help them understand that more extreme posts go "viral" because social media companies make more advertising money, and collect more data, when users are sharing and interacting more.
What the research says about social media & media health
Multiple studies have found evidence of a possible link between social media use and mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. A large 2022 study in the United Kingdom revealed that adolescents seem to have two specific periods when they're especially sensitive to social media. When adolescents used social media more than average during these periods, they said they were less happy with their lives. These windows occur at ages 11–13 and 19 years old for females and ages 14–15 and 19 years old for males.
Other studies show that it's how social media is used that may be the real issue. For example, compulsive or nighttime social media use can lead to negative mental health effects. But using social media to search for information or get social support can have positive effects. More research needs to be done to find out exactly why and how social media affects mental health.
How to encourage your kids to use social media in a healthy way
Here's how you can help your child learn to use social media—and all media in general—in a healthy way.
Whether your child is already on social media or they're asking you if they can start, be sure to go through your family rules for using it.
Talk to your child about the effect social media can have on their mood. Encourage them to log off if they're experiencing negative feelings.
Ask your child what social media platforms they use and why they like them.
Discuss how people tend to put only the best parts of their lives on social media. What your child sees online is most likely not the reality.
Remind your child to think before they post, share or comment. There can be serious consequences such as cyberbullying, harassment or blackmail.
Have your child keep their phone and tablet outside their bedroom at night.
Do spot checks on your child's social media accounts. Be up front and let them know you'll be looking at these once or twice (or more) a week.
Be cautious about children under 13 years old using social media. Most platforms set 13 as the minimum age to sign up.
Remember that face-to-face interaction is the best form of communication. Balance your child's social media use with interactive time spent with family and friends.
Encourage your child to use all media in moderation. Research shows that spending excessive amounts of time online, including on social media, increases kids' risk of negative effects. Our customizable Family Media Use Plan can help set limits.
The big picture
Overall, it's important to be open-minded about the laughs and connections that teens get from social media. But it is also important to help them recognize inauthentic behavior, misinformation and how they are profiled by companies. When used in positive ways, social media plays an important role in teens' lives. For example, researchers found that during the COVID-19 lockdowns, positive experiences with social media reduced adolescents' feelings of loneliness. The study also found that the quality of adolescents' online time matters more than the amount of screen time they use. This shows how important it is for parents to support kids using social media in a positive way.
As with all media use, limits are important to prevent disrupted sleep. Not getting enough sleep has been linked with depression and anxiety among teens. Setting limits also prevent other activities that can support mental health, such as family time and engaging in offline activities that give your child a sense of purpose and meaning.
Remember
If you're concerned about your child's mental health, be sure to talk with your pediatrician.
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